Previous |
Main
| Next
Beatnik Coffee House
So I got roped into doing a small performance at a Coffee House evening that the local writers group put on. It was actually fun, with lots of excellent stories and poetry. I was sure what I should read, so I ended up writing the following spoken word type piece, entitled "Spam".
Are you too small? Pills make you larger! Viagra, Cialis, increase your volume, louder, impress your wife, last longer, be harder, less caring, more caring, sensitivity training for adults, love you long time soldier boy.
Too large? Shed pounds! Loose inches! Real Hoodia, See ya, Hydroxycut myself shaving this morning. Drink more water, carbonated water, flavoured water, just add water, bottled water, Evian is naïve, Dasani is coka-kookie at twice the price and all but one of the ingredients, cheese grater, grate on my nerves, high heel stuck in a grate, heel boy, heal thyself.
Need more Energizer bunny keeps going and going and going. Energy Drinks, Full Throttle Jolts Rockstar, Red Bull Chivalry is dead, get women any where, any time, hundreds of singles in your home town, Russian brides at your fingertips, Filipinos flip flirtatious feathers, pleasant mother pheasant pluckers.
Too many bills? Trained councillors will console as you consolidate your corporate conglomeration, Caffeinated Keyboard Kowboys type wild western enigmas, coding, dot dot dash, counting, zero one zero zero, calculating, 404 page not found, herbaceous hepatitis, one shot protects, hole in one, hole in the wall gang, gang bang, chitty chitty bang bang, download, upload, reload, press F7 to load program.
C Colon Backslash, bracket, exclamation ata tilde hat, pound greater than, less than forward slash, gash, bash, cultural whiplash, lick the wax from my moustache.
Real Replica Rolex imported at your leisure suit Larry in the lavish land of lounge lizards, watch the watches witness witless lessons, television, the drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and feeding radiation, radish, dish, disrespecting my home rates have never been lower, mortgage, amortize, realize, actualize, hypnotize, demonize, would you like fries with that?
Corporate stock tips, LPT COM OEM software, adobe acrobat tumbling from windows vista. Check out the view from above, instant wealth, forward to 18 friends in 7 minutes for 30 years of good luck. Get away, get out, inconvenient truth brought to you by the liberal democratic new conservative republican overlords of acid.
Social engineering, sociopath networking, who do you know, what do you know, how do you do, who do you do? Information, disinformation, everything you know is wrong, you are being lied, abuse your illusions, aim higher, AOL Instant Messenger, American Online, join my network, nitpick myspace, get out of my facebook, book travel, cruises, flights, hotels, car rentals, Expedia expedites exhilarating expenditures.
Get your degree now! Six degrees of separation, separate your whites, wash in hot water, wash in cold, stain fighting, fast acting. Ring around the rosey collar is a thing of the past. Retrofit, retroactive, stay active, stay fit, one hundred calories pack my suitcase, file my case, hear my case, get off my case, the case is before the courts, the judge adjudicates jurors without prejudice.
Tune in, Tune out, Turn off, stay tuned for the next episode, next time on as the world turns by the guiding light of the days of our lives all my children are young and restless and will only have one life to live due to the passions of the general hospital staff, distaff, distil, destroy, staph infection, Staphylococcus caucus contains cocoons, Cancun, saloon, beyond Rangoon, Gorilla Monsoon, contagious coughs, latest, greatest, most fulfilling, rewarding, happiness is just a phone call away. Supplies are limited! Act now! All for one low price! Free shipping!
Paranoid, Humanoid, Philip K. Dick Android, Constipate, Emancipate, Liberate, Revaluate!
Spam, the medium of the message, is the message, is the medium, is us, spam.
Posted by Dylon on March 30, 2007 10:21 PM |
Permalink
Comments
That was great, Dylon!!! I'm impressed :)
April 2008